okok.i take back my words in the previous post.nj seriously jsut rocks my socks.it's been amazing this past few weeks,and my class seriously.just kicks ass.the seniors are great the people are great and i've been having loads of fun this few days.just that there have been some things niggling at the back of my head.
i read people's blogs,and i'm constantly amazed at how quickly people can put failed relationships down.i'm not amazed because of the speed,it's mainly because after their r/ships fail,they go into this state where they convince everybody that they are hurting really badly,and they've fallen so badly they can't get back up.yet,in a wink,they are up and about with someone new.and that's what surprises me.
then how can it be that i can't seem to let go of someone that i've been missing for nearly a year and a half now?
it used to hurt,the way he popped back up into my mind everytime i was hurting,everytime i was happy,everytime i'm felt something out of the ordinary.how he just seemed to be missing everytime.but being without him for so long,i guess i've learnt to live without him,i've learnt to put him down.yet,every time i see him,it just seems to affect me just that bit.i just have to learn to get back on my feet and face the facts.i can live without him,i can survive without his love.it wasn't even there in the first place,all that existed on his part was manipulation and lies.so why the melancholic thoughts?i don't believe i can't carry on without him.i just need time.the time limit is drawing to an end,and i can almost assuredly say that he doesn't affect me as much as he did last time.it's time to move on,and i don't believe can't do it.there's nobody that cannot live without someone else,it's just the mentality that shuts them off from reality.
playing; diana degarmo:emotional
